The Corruption of Relpuce
'The Accidental Bard'
Being the smallest runt of his kobold brood, you could imagine Jibberly Jacklefeet has never had it easy. I mean c’mon, if its not bad enough being a kobold, you’re pretty much dirt being the runt of a kobold pack.
He grew up on the outskirts of a small fishing town with his brood, always being sent out by his uncaring family to steal food from the local fishermen. “no BIG loss if jibblerly gets eatens!” they’d snicker as he left.
Kobolds are funny like that.
What they didn’t know was, Jibberly actually would never get eaten, and didn’t always steal the food, at least not directly…
He’d gamble and play cards with the local fishermen in the tavern, and laugh about his stupid brood with the patrons, usually winning a decent earning of fish.
He did this for years and became quite well known, and winnings of fish slowly progressed to copper, then silver and then to gold.
He started playing high stakes games, buying enough fish for a decent meal and some to bring home, as well as gold to stash away for a rainy day. The townspeople loved him, his stories and his mirth he’d bring to the tavern.
…..What the patrons didn’t know is that Jibberly Used to cheat almost every time he played. An extra card here and pickpocket there, and he’d be winning the jackpot everytime.
For Jibberly jacklefeet, cheating was a livelihood.
Kobolds are silly like that.
The townspeople would eventually find out, but we’ll get back to that.
Every night he’d come home from the town and stash his gold, and retire to the swamp his family inhabited.
This was done for quite a few years, until one afternoon on his way to stash his gold, Jibberly came across a sleeping merchant who was napping in a tree.
Opportunity shone in his eyes and he sneaked up to pilfer him.
He climbed up the tree but could only reach the merchants pant pocket, which contained a small round tubular device.
A simple wooden flute.
‘shinies!’ He screamed as he snatched it in his hand, awakening the merchant.
The merchant looked at Jibberly and gasped ‘The flute of misfortune! Give it back!’
He was too late, Jibberly had already scampered away with the flute, playing it as he ran. The sound he made with it, can only be closely described as eleven drunk banshees screaming Christmas carols in C minor.
As he played the flute, the following events occurred simultaniously as Jibberly was running home:
The merchant fell out of the tree and broke his neck.
The townspeople found his stash of cheat cards under the table, and had armed themselves with pitchfork and fire to hunt down the cheating kobold.
His Kobold family was suddenly eaten by a pack of wild boar.
Jibberly arrived at his stash hold, to find the gold gone, and a flock of harpies acquiring it along with the salted fish he had stashed with it.
He was then chased by the harpies, at which point he ran into town, only to be blockaded by an angry mob of screaming fishermen, with whom he also started running from.
The wild boar then picked up his scent and started dashing towards his location.
The eventual result was a large melee of man, beast and bird, at which most participants died.
……Except Jibberly. He’s so small he was barely noticed escaping almost as soon as the bloodbath began.
He then set out to find more “shinies” in less troublesome places.